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NikolHasler: Suck it, New York Times. "I'm really fucking journalisty, yo" is a great answer to "Why do you think you're qualified to write for us?"
NikolHasler: To the person who farted in the candle section of ikea, are you okay? I know a good doctor.
NikolHasler: @RingoStyleBaby The nihilists say "I believe in nothing." during the bathtub ferret scene.
NikolHasler: As much as I am enjoying describing all the ways in which my vagina is like a bicycle, I think this job interview has hit a lull.
NikolHasler: Who do you text in the middle of the night? http://www.milwaukeemagazine.com/lovesexetc/
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