A Question From the Straight Man

[Nikol Hasler]

I received this email from someone who prefers to remain anonymous. While I have told many straight people to stop worrying that gay men want their goods, this one seems to be having an issue with getting unwanted advances.

"I'm a freshman in college. I'm one of only a few straight guys on my floor, in my dorm. Normally, this isn't a problem, because both "teams" mind their own business and get along. However, one day, when I was showering, I caught one of those queens eyeing my wet shoulders. Completely startled, I quickly ended my shower, grabbed my towel, and ran to my room. This wasn't the only time I've felt uncomfortable. Sometimes when I brush my teeth in the morning, the gays will try to get a "cheap feel", if you know what I mean. I'm very confident in my sexual orientation, which is STRAIGHT. However, I don't know how to handle any of these situations where gay guys try to make me "switch sides". Can you help me? Thanks Nikol.

Sincerely,
Troubled Straight Guy Who Lives In A Dorm With Mostly Gay Guys"

My first thoughts are:
The guys are just messing with him because play ground rules are clear that when someone shows discomfort, we continue to push that button.
Or
Much like hot women in all horndog straight male populations, the dudes are not listening and think they have the right to keep harassing.

I'd love your opinions as well as suggestions for the person who sent the email.

[Kim]

He should probably try to talk to his roomies about respect and boundaries, but I don't see a bunch of college guys sitting around actually doing that so... suck it up? It's harsh but true, they'll eventually stop when they see that he's got no interest but if they don't he should either talk to them, move into a new dorm/hall or talk the TA if it gets out of hand. In a way he should probably consider their advances as flattering, otherwsie it'll just drive him crazy.

[Nikol Hasler]

Ben, are you serious? Have you honestly been poisoned into believing that someone's sexual preference is a disease? I am thinking you must be full of crap with your reply, since you are a member of this community. While everyone is entitled to follow their own belief system, what you are spewing is hate. Clarify the teachings that lead you to such a false idea.

[Icarus]

SNAP.

[Chelsea Marie]

I think they are expecting the response you are giving, like Nikol said, so maybe you could try just the opposite. As soon as they know that they can't get a rise out of you AND that you are straight, it might stop.

[Cobainerz]

I think he might want to address the issue with the guys in his floor at the moment they are doing it, so they know he doesn't like it. They might be thinking that he's just shy (the e-mail says that they are mostly gay guys). If the situation doesn't improve, talking with an RA or with the head of the floor might help.